Help! My Child is Biting! - What Would You Do?
One of the most, frustrating habits that children develop is biting. Many, many children pass through this phase and it is hard as parents to understand why they are doing it and how to make them stop.
I myself have raised and successfully rehabilitated two young biters… so I feel your pain. I have spent time over the years trying to understand why kids bite and what I as a mother can do about it. I wanted to share some of my findings and experiences with you to help you if you are dealing with a child who likes to bite.
There are five reasons why most children bite, if you can determine which reason your child is biting for it may help you find a way to resolve the problem a little quicker so try some of these suggestions and see how they work.
1. Frustration/Anger
Many young children do not yet have the verbal skills to express to you or other children that they are mad or frustrated. If the only way that they have to let you or a playmate know that they do not like something that is going on is to take a big bite out of one of you… they will do it.
If you notice that your precious child is turning into Jaws whenever they are provoked or angry than try to avoid situations where they typically react this way.
For example, if little Suzie has bit the same child numerous times for taking away her doll… find a new playmate for a little while. If that is not possible to remove your child from the situation than you need to be ready to swoop in and remove little Suzie when a conflict breaks out.
2. Teething
Children can begin teething as early as three months and continue well until they are three or sometimes even four years old. This is a painful and irritating process and many children find relief by chewing on things… and people.
If you find that your child seems to be biting down when they are in pain from teething you can give them age appropriate items to chew on or to soothe their sore gums. Like give a teething preschooler an apple slice to chew on, to relieve the pain. Check with your child’s doctor to see if Baby Orajel or a pain reliever can be used to bring your child some relief.
3. Excitement
Sometimes when children get overwhelmed and excited, they do not know how to control and channel that energy, resulting in a bite. In this case, model different ways of showing affection and excitement for your children. Show them how hugging, cuddling, and softer touches are a much nicer way of expressing their excitement.
4. Attention Seeking
My daughter was the queen of this one… I would be on the phone or talking to one of her brothers and if she wanted my attention she would bite me. On the leg, the arm, the hand… and it hurt!
She would just smile at me… because she had my undivided attention, she did not care if I was happy or mad… she just wanted me to pay attention to her. I learned to try to manage my time better each day by giving one on one attention to each of the kids throughout the day and saving my phone call time for nap time as much as possible.
5. Stress
Children too can feel stress, even if they don’t understand it or know what to do about it. Because of this many of them can resort to biting as a way to cope. If you notice that your child is biting when they are overstimulated or stressed out try to avoid the situations if at all possible. You can also begin to teach your child coping strategies like deep breathing, walking away, and giving them lots of cuddles when they are overwhelmed.
Keep in mind that if your child is a biter you need to try to manage the behavior and help them understand it. Here are a couple of things to keep in mind:
♦ Tell them “No! No! Do not bite.” Each time that they repeat the behavior. Make sure that you make eye contact with them when you tell them that.
♦ Show them the bite marks, this will help them understand that they have hurt someone… but DO NOT bite back! This only confuses kids because you are telling them not to do something and then turning around and doing it to them… not a good idea.
♦ Have your child offer an age appropriate apology to the child or adult they have bitten, it could be a hug or a verbal apology… but they need to learn to make amends for it.
♦ Remove your child from the situation when they have bitten and always attend to the child who was injured so that your child can understand that they have hurt someone.
♦ Be patient… this is an ugly phase… but it does pass.
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November 13th, 2008 at 3:05 am
My son really loves to bite her sister…even me… I know he will get over it but there were times that I go to my office with my hand…bruises from his bite mark… well I’m sure people who doesnt know think… my husband did that…isn’t it…lol…